Drawing Young Boys in the same week as starting a Tottenham blog is an opportunity even Sandra Redknapp wouldn’t pass up. But inappropriate humour may only attract the wrong crowd of random googlers (Arsenal fans with a keen interest in youth team development).

 But come on – what a draw! I hear Young Boys are vulnerable to attack if you can get round the back. They have youthful enthusiasm but are prone to ill discipline. They’ll do anything for a curly wurly and a copy of whizzer and chips. Ok – enough. Won’t somebody please think appropriately of the children? 

 One ‘fact’ gleaned from Wikipedia is that they have an under-21 team which for some reason amused me. They are called Young Boys II.  Lou Diamond Phillips plays for them I think. Go for it.

What I really liked about this draw – apart from the draw –  is that it finally got me excited about the football season. I had mentally arranged the teams we could get into 3 separate categories of desirability. In the half hour before the draw I ‘did some work’ just to make the time go quicker. 11am saw me perma-refreshing on two different sites so I could find out a crucial 2 seconds earlier. I could tell it was going to be a disaster. I didn’t know whether the worst draw for us was Kiev or Sampdoria – but as soon as we got one of them, I knew they would inevitably be the one my subconscious had most feared all along.

 I’m typical Tottenham in that respect. It’ll always go wrong for us. And  now we’re trying to come up with reasons why we should be worried about Young Boys Berne.

 They have a half English right back who is a lifelong Tottenham fan – so he’s bound to score the 89th minute winner at the lane (you know who you are). They beat Fenerbahce so they must be pretty handy. Their season is already well under way. They have an artificial pitch.

 Well yes, but there’s more chance that when we’re coasting he’ll get a rousing rendition of “you’re spurs and you know you are” from his mates. Fenerbahce were down to 10 men. They haven’t won a game in their first three attempts in the league. And this is not QPR and Luton in the 1980s, the pitch will be fine (like it was for England in Russia a few years ago).

 The point is that I think we all feel it, this sickly feeling that we might throw it away. To some it’s a lump in the throat, to some it’s an ache in the pit of the stomach. To me it’s a slightly annoying tickly cough. I don’t really think any harm is going to be caused, but I just wish it would go away and stop bothering me because there’s always that chance.

 It’s not Berne that worry us, it’s us. Having the easiest draw possible just magnifies the fear because how very Tottenham it would be to have CL football this near only to mess it up? And then to spend the rest of the season up and down the country listening to everyone else rub it in our faces.

 Except this time, there is something different about this Tottenham team. They aren’t racked by the same self-doubt that most Spurs teams in my lifetime have been when they’ve threatened to get good. They probably go too far the other way, with Jermain Defoe bigging up our chances of going further in a competition we haven’t actually qualified for yet than Arsenal. It’s dumb, and I personally am resolving (so far quite unsuccessfully on this blog) to mention them less these days – it would be nice to see the players try the same.

 Cocky and arrogant and heading for a fall when we don’t win the league and CL double he may be, but JD and his mates aren’t thinking the same thoughts I’m thinking. They don’t think like Tottenham fans because they aren’t Tottenham fans. They’re just very good players who will come unstuck against Barcelona or AC Milan or Werder Bremen or Galatasaray, maybe. But not against this lot. Men against Young Boys.

 Unless we balls it up like we’re bound to do. I blame Jenas.



11 responses to “Curly-Wurly

  1. No mention of the Wankdorf Stadium. I’m impressed.

  2. There were quite a few quotes I read from Scott Sutter – was the the right back boy Yiddo’s name? – and he reckons the pitch at their yard is probably actually quite similar to what we play on at the Lane; you know, only dead.

    It’s all about the speed of the ball on the surface and, apparently, given that we have a grassy carpet to be proud of it’ll probably perform in quite a similar way. Interestingly, unlike the Russian team, the Young Berned Boys do practice every day on that astro pitch as well as play on it.

  3. So I finally found you lot (or rather, you finally told me where to find you!).

    Top stuff Oog. I definitely have that ‘orrible feeling that Spurs could go and throw it away, blow it away, but I know they can play…ENOUGH ALREADY!

    It’s late and I need to get to bed, but to summarise; Great draw, we’ll beat City on Saturday and proceed to the CL group stages. How’s that for optimism?


  4. What Would Jimbo Do

    I have to say that, that I thought the most pleasing thing with the performance against Man City yesterday, was that we’re in gear and ready for the match against the Young Lads.

    If we play like that we WILL score a goal or two this week, and someone told me that away goals count double.

    I agree Oog. We’re not talking about the usual Tottenham, we’ll do it confortably.

  5. We Should have scored at least 3 in the first half!
    Anyways Glad to see the old bagel crew and I will
    definately be visiting this site alot in the future.

  6. My back page headline for Wednesday
    “Spurs on fire as young boys burn”
    See what i did there?

    Or maybe “Spurs humilated”???????????? eek!

    We played well on Saturday. I nice win tomorrow will get us into our stride for the weekend. We won’t win the league this year but we always have a chance in the cup competitions and boy, are we in the Cup this year! COYS.

  7. You can’t win anything with young boys? As I write this at half-time in the first leg I am hoping that Tottenham find a way back into this leg rather than get Braga’d…

  8. Bleedin’ ell! That was a rather nasty 90 minutes.
    The only positive way I can look at that result is that losing 3 – 2 is better than losing 1 – 0.
    We still have a lot to do to get through to the group stage. Why can’t it ever be simple FFS!??????

  9. They could have buried us. I think that second away goal will prove decisive. I think we will win back at the lane but can see them sneeking a goal.

  10. I know that it comes with the territory being a Spurs fan but I just have a really bad feeling about the 2nd leg. It makes it worse that all the pundits and the bookies have us as firm favourites to progress. Well, going on last nights first half performance we have a fight on our hands. The new season has started and part of me wishes it hadn’t as the anxiety and trauma has returned.

  11. What Would Jimbo Do

    It was an absolutely terrifying 90 minutes, I think the wife was worried that I was about to post myself out of our window after half an hour. Back to The Lane on Wednesday though. Should be a humdinger

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